Dissapointment and expectations.

Hi,

Dissapointment. That is what i am going to prove to everyone in Shanghai. Well except a few, but i will show them how dissapointing i am and how much of a prick i am. It sounds stupid but for me it is the only way to reverse the roles of Shanghai and Sydney. Some of it isnt for this reason though. Part of it is because i was dissapointed by alot of people even though they didn't owe me anything which is rather... pathetic. I don't think this trip will be very good to be honest because i've already cut myself from everyone i was planning on meeting. It's so weird because i expected that this trip would be like IT, it would be the trip that i would remember for the rest of my life but i guess this really was unexpected. Sigh, the future really is unpredictable i suppose.

Have you ever done that? Expected too much from someone. I tend to do it alot yet i don't do it enough. I say this because towards some people i don't give a fuck what they do but towards others i expect sssooo much from them. And when i don't get what i want, well, like a child i begin to get frustrated and when i begin to get frustrated i begin to rage and when i rage it turns into hate. Unfortunate i suppose, but that is just the way things are. The fact that i put in so much heart and soul still annoys me because i could have been doing better things but i didn't. Argh fuck.

I'm not looking very forward to Shanghai anymore, only a few things i guess. And fuck is it raining? Shit i hope not i gotta bboy soon. I'm just gonna train with Danny and focus on bboying i guess. Maybe see Lucia and Luky a few times and Ice when she arrives. I don't really know how to explain things to Ice cause i'm sure she's gonna be pissed off and confused when she finds out. I could always lie to her but i don't think i really want to do that... I guess i'll tell her and hopefully she can figure things out for me >_< Like you said, it's pretty sad. Pushing everyone away i mean. But dude, it was pretty funny when i pissed off Jae Hyun i mean cmon. You gotta admit =P

Peace,
The King of Random