Hey,
So as most of you know, i have a girlfriend. Some of you may also know that i'm coming back this Sunday. And... that's where the problem is at. It seems like i don't want to leave this place, no, it's not leaving this place it's more leaving her. Argh its hard to explain... i mean if i leave her and i come back in July... what's the point? We wont ever be this good again... and i'm trying so hard to hold onto what i have with her now. Hahahaha its sort of funny and cruel at the same time but alot of things sort of push this problem in front of me. Like today i got an email from my friend and at the bottom he said "ENJOY YOUR LAST WEEEK" Yeah thanks dude i dont want you to remind me for fuck's sake. And my mum... freakin' hell mum you dont need to start packing right now we leave on Saturday.. fuck.
Sigh... i don't even know whether or not this is a problem cause it was inevitable and i thought i had prepared for this but now that its hit me in the face i cant help but think about it. And i feel sad. And the fact that i feel sad means that i'm dissapointing Cindy which makes me even sadder. Hahahaha. Aahhh what to do what to do? When i go back... i wanna keep myself busy. Busy out of my fucking mind that i won't have to think. I cant stop thinking about the future. Damn... i keep seeing what were gonna be like in 5 months time. Its gonna be Sue all over again...
It seems like happiness is a high for me. And like any high, it only lasts a short period. I aint saying i'm sad or whatnot i'm just saying 3 weeks ago.... wow. WOW. Everyday was like a dream for me... and i realized it then and i realize it now too. Fudge, i'm in emo mode =P
I wanna sleep...,
The King of Random.
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